[Yakuza 0]Yakuza 0: 10 Funniest Substories, Ranked | Game Rant

Update time:2021-07-21 20:56Tag:

  Yakuza 0 features a lot of funny substories to play through. Here’s a look at the absolute funniest, ranked.

  By Ritwik Mitra

  Published May 10, 2021



  The Yakuza series is easily one of the most entertaining yet underrated franchises around. Each game in the series serves up a delectable story coupled with a massive amount of side content in a small yet densely packed world that will keep fans occupied for quite some time indeed. Yakuza 0 is one such title that is one of the best entry points in the series and allows gamers to experience the magic of this series firsthand.

  RELATED:?10 Nintendo Switch Games That Are Like The Yakuza Series

  The first thing that most people will notice about Yakuza 0 is the fact that the main plot is incredibly serious and well-told… which is in stark contrast to the substories in the game that are full to the brim with side-splittingly hilarious writing that will leave fans gasping for air as they laugh their lungs out. The following ten substories are some of the most hilarious ones in Yakuza by a country mile.


  Be My Boyfriend from Yakuza 0

  During his adventures in Sotenbori, Majima is approached by a girl who randomly asks him to be her pretend-boyfriend so that she can prove to her dad that this mystery individual existed all along. The fact that Majima looked exactly like the fake description she gave to her father certainly helps.

  When Majima accepts the request and plays along, it seems like the father is completely fooled… until, that is, he ends up revealing to Majima that he knew about the lie all along. It’s a heartwarming moment?— that is, until the father himself begs Majima to become his daughter’s real boyfriend, which is extremely weird indeed.

  Suspicion Of Perversion in Yakuza 0

  However, while the father mentioned above is strange, the individual in this entry is weird to an entirely different level. After spying on Kiryu?— who was forced?to hang around a young girl — in the Pocket Circuit Stadium, the man challenges the budding Dragon of Dojima to a race in what appears to be a bid for the girl herself, which is just downright disturbing.

  Upon losing, the man reveals his identity?— he’s actually the father of the girl that had become smitten for Kiryu, and even went so far as to give the go-ahead for them being around each other.?Thankfully, Kiryu manages to pull him aside and explains the entire misunderstanding.


  Passport To Pizza in Yakuza 0

  Upon finding an immigrant who apparently had a problem pronouncing “p,” Kiryu surmises that the woman needed a pizza to forget about her deporting woes.

  RELATED:?13 Best Yakuza Games, According To Metacritic

  What follows is a hilarious chain of events, starting off with Kiryu asking the cashier of a burger shop to order a pizza before running back with the?rather?cold pizza… only to find out that?the immigrant was actually asking for a visa. Thankfully, things take a turn for the better when?someone ends up confessing his love for her, and all three end up sharing the pizza to cap off a good day.

  A Taxing Issue in Yakuza 0

  The idea of randomly happening on an influential government employee who supervises taxes and influencing his taxation policies for the entire nation sounds like a scenario that’s too good to be true… so obviously, the exact chain of events happens with Majima in Yakuza 0.

  The funniest part about this entire substory is that Majima has absolutely no idea about the consequences of his actions… until the taxation officer leaves!


  How To Train Your Dominatrix in Yakuza 0

  Kiryu happens upon some truly weird people during his adventures in Kamurocho, with a particularly hilarious instance coming in the form of a dominatrix who was bad at her job.

  The fact that Kiryu had to help her figure out what to say during an actual?scenario is easily the highlight of this substory, and the fact that this man even ends up helping out Kamurocho Real Estate is a bonus.

  Yakuza 0 - Kiryu speaking to a child

  In what is perhaps one of the most hilarious substories in the entirety of the Yakuza series, The Shrink-Wrapped Dream sees Kiryu having to dodge and dart his way through a group of wary females as he tries to score a?grown-up magazine from a vending machine.

  The kicker? Kiryu wasn’t even buying the magazine for himself?— he was actually fulfilling his promise to a younger man!


  SEGA HI-TECH LAND Attendant Kyoko in Yakuza 0

  While these stories are so similar that the impact is lost the second time over, there’s no denying the fact that the substories with Luka and Kyoko for both Kiryu and Majima are hilarious because of the “special” things that are promised during these encounters.

  The allegories used by both attendants are quite?intense when they challenge the characters to beat their score… only for both characters to find out that the attendants were actually talking about a new arcade game.

  Nugget the Chicken in Yakuza 0

  Challenging the attendant Emiri at Mach Bowl to a bowling game over and over again while playing as Kiryu will cause the friendship meter to rise, until she finally announces a contest where the winner gets a turkey… by getting a turkey in bowling, which is basically three strikes in a row.

  RELATED:?10 Anime You Need To Watch If You Like Yakuza

  The funny thing is that accomplishing this challenge nets a chicken instead, who forms such a strong bond with Kiryu from the get-go that he ends up getting hired as a manager at Kamurocho Real Estate!


  Miracle Johnson in Yakuza 0

  The mere idea of?defending?Michael Jackson from zombies while he’s shooting Thriller?— a video directed by Steven Spielberg, no less?— sounds absolutely ridiculous… and yet, that’s precisely what ends up happening in Yakuza 0.

  Of course, copyright issues prevent the game from using the actual names of these stars… but it’s clear for all to see what the inspiration for the characters in these substories are.

  Disciple Of The New Order in Yakuza 0

  In one of the most bizarre subplots in the entire series, Disciple of the New Order sees Majima infiltrating a cult in order to rescue a woman’s daughter.

  The cult is as hilariously inept as one might assume, with the words “Shooreh Pippi” being imprinted in the minds of gamers who were lucky enough to experience the hilarity of this substory firsthand.

  NEXT:?14 Games To Play If You Love Yakuza



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  About The Author


  Ritwik Mitra

  (375 Articles Published)

  Games, music, TV shows, movies, and a little bit of everything else.

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